I am the Auntie of a child lost through an aggressive cancer.

I was reading a story about Bionicles to my 14 year old nephew minutes before he died. The cancer was so advanced and had ravaged him completely - a stranger to this scene beside his bed might have wondered why I was bothering to read a story to a child so obviously and completely close to leaving us all. But his favorite Bionicles surrounded us in his room, they were his passion in his short life. His mother, my sister in law, walked past his bedroom door and gave me the thumbs up - she thought it was a good idea, too.

I finished the story and his Mum sat with him alone. Minutes later she cried out he was gone. I rushed in to see a tear forming in the corner of his eye...I'll never forget this.

The following events - the people who came to take him away, the phone calls that had to be made, the friends who seemed to just appear at the front door....it blurred into one surreal memory which, today, comes back. Today is the anniversary of Cameron's passing and for some reason this website appears on my Facebook page and gives me an opportunity to say what I have wanted to say for four years.

Cameron's journey changed me. There is a section of gravel road on my daily walk dedicated to Cam. It was here I cried for the very first time after my brother called and told me Cam was very sick. There are so many times I walk that road and think of the day he passed away. Nobody had a chance to watch him grow into the beautiful man he was destined to be. I have a son close to his age now and it is so sad to say that Cam's death has made me appreciate my son's very existence even more. I think about exactly that, a lot.

I don't know why I agonise over the guilt I feel when my brother, who just couldn't cope with this tragedy, has a lucid moment where he looks misty-eyed at my son and I know exactly what he is thinking.

My brother can't move on .... I have lost him completely despite my efforts to help him. The fallout from this tragedy has been completely exhausting for me, my husband, my children and my mother.

But my sister In law is amazing. She is strong and resilient and has her own way of dealing with her grief. I respect her and I always want her in my life. I also have a beautiful niece who I would like to think I have a special relationship with.

This thing called cancer isn't just about an insidious disease. It's about moving people to do extraordinary things. Things we would never have dreamed we would do, or need to do. What a strange gift it is.

The opportunity I took to tell my Auntie story on this website is testament to this.